i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
