so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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