i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
