I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
