this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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