Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
