Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
