I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
