Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
