chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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