we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
