I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
