If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
