I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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