She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
