Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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