when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
