yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
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