what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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