Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
