Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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