watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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