you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
