my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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