And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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