Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
ok first of all what the fuck
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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