morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
