I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
