remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
