How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
