Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
