Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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