He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
