every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
