Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
