I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
