You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
