I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
