My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Can you bring me the toilet please
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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