is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
