What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
