At least make sure they are 18
Why
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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