You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i was born a porn star she said
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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