I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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