That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
