She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
