Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
