google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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