I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
