We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
