that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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