Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
