Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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