last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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