fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
