theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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