just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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