worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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