Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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