so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
