You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
