I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
