Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
